The ink isn't even dry on our divorce papers and Adolf announced to the kids that he is getting married. Hes known her for five months. He told me as soon as they lift his excommunication and gets baptized a member He will take her to the temple. This is about his third women since our seperation. I cried and cried. Maybe because of feeling the unfairness of it all, the fear of the future, the ugly feeling of having to deal with my kids having another mother and the love i still have for him. But after all the crying, I prayed and this what the spirit whispered to me "This is NOT YOUR SIN quit paying for it! How profound! It was a wake up call, to move forward. Im going to put this on the wall to remind me. I was fighting against all that was taught to me in the gospel. I don't remember any YW lesson that gave me permission to erase my temple covenants if the other was unfaithful or physically harmed you. Blind obedience is my strength and my curse I guess. I was holding on to those covenants cause that is all I knew to do,I didn't have any direction in the church manuals that told me what to do after that. I want everyone to know the difference relatives and friends make with there spiritual insight. I know the blogs are used mainly for happy family memories and this i a little sad but I just thought I would share my spiritual experience.
My oldest-When he was told said thats dumb uve only known her five months and your gonna get married. Ams rejected the invitation to dads wedding. Ams asked me later What kind of lds women wants a excommunicated man. I hadn't thought about it in that way. That is good insight coming from my 19 year old.
Amulek- Had the same reaction as AMS. Adolfo got mad. I think my boys hurt more cause they don't have that daddy figure and they need it. The girls didn't have a quick no reaction.
Angelique is undecided. Amerika isa yes on attending.
Amalekia is doing good in college and has joined like a all guy faternity.Minus all the bad stuff. He loves his classes. I just have to keep him focused on a going on a mission. I knew if he took classes and got involved in NH student activities hes would love it so much that he will have a harder time leaving.
They will meet there step mom for the first time at the wedding ifthey go. Wow! Amerika said he was getting married on a weekday. The wedding is scheduled for the end of this month.
4 comments:
WOW!!! i don't even know what to say about that. we all know he isn't the brightest tool, and if they didn't know, now they do. but your answer to your prayers is such a confirmation of the Lord's love for you. You are a wonderful woman and Adolfo never did or said anything to make you feel that way. In time you will find a man that treats you like the queen you really are and will take you back to the temple, and the idiot will probably be divorced AGAIN! Amalekia is turning into such a great spirit himself. it's great to know he is enjoying college and we will continue to pray and he stays on the path to a mission! love you lots!
...not the brightest tool...lmbo. i gotta agree with Ams on it bein a dumb move anyway- good thing your sons dont seem to b of the same breed..im glad u can stil hear the spirit sis, since your own lil voice is stil building strength;) dont forget that he always wants to hurt you- dont allow it anymore. he doesnt deserve the satisfaction n u dont deserve, nor hav time, for the pain it brings. keep on keeping on, cuz life sure is. i stil look to u as an example so dont fall! lol luv ya sis! n im hsppy to know Ams is doin good n a mission is stil a possibility for him. ttyl, xo.
Alma, first of all, I checked your blog because I noticed that you left me a comment on one of my posts and I thought to myself, "How neat! Alma left me a message!" So I was returning the the gesture. I do not check your blog often because I didn't realize that you updated it. So, forgive me! I'll be checking a whole lot more now :)
But, after I read this post so many things came to my mind. If I speak out of turn, just slap me the next time you see me, but, I wanted to express my feelings of admiration to you. First of all, I CANNOT imagine being your position. You must bear a burden that most of us cannot even identify with. However, that being said, one thing that came to mind was the analogy of the diamond. A diamond cannot be a diamond without the immense heat and pressure from the earth to form. After the heat and pressure comes excavation and the mining, once a raw diamond is found, then there is cutting and polishing to refine it to it's full beauty. In other words, all of this is a refining period, enabling you to BECOME. Becoming is part of this journey. It is all for not. Through these experiences, hard, difficult and arduous as they may be, you are being refined and in the meantime Heavenly Father is right by your side.
This is NOT your sin.
A couple of more things come to mind: D&C 101:16 and Matthew 11:28-30. Give to Him. He will lift your burden, I promise. It has worked for me in my life.
Also, as RS president, I have really come to rely on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Sounds cheesy, but with all that I have going on, sometimes I just need to find a peaceful spot. When I play the CDs I feel rest and ease.
I only suggest these things to help. I promise I am not trying to tell you what to do! LOL I hope that I have helped, if but a little.
Hang in there Alam, you and your children will certainly be my prayers.
Much Love
tiffany
PS: Sorry for this long-winded comment - sheesh!
PPS: I said "It is all for not." What I meant was: "It isn't all for not. SORRY! Just wanted to make that clear.
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